Inner Soul, Mental Health, Susans Soul, Susans Soul Thoughts, Things from Spirit

Soul Musings on What Matters Part 1

 

In my musings on life and what truly matters in our inner life and soul one of the biggest questions was “Who am I?”  That is what led to my journey to get in touch with who I was. There was a time when I identified as nurse, mom, wife, woman and chauffeur.  But I didn’t really know who “I” was.

 Everyone gave me an identity that involved my relationship with them. However, when I was alone those things I was identified with didn’t work for me.


I gave so much of myself away that I didn’t really know who I was when I was alone or by myself. This knowledge left me empty and longing to start the journey to know myself alone or my inner life and soul without all the labels that society and others put upon me.

So my journey into my life and inner soul and my identity began. I realized why I felt so alone even in a crowded room. It was because my inner self was alone and lonely. I felt different. I felt discomfort.

My life history was complicated by childhood abuse and later marriage for the wrong reason. I had been in a chaotic, alcoholic  marriage for years before divorce. Today my life still had some drama and chaos and discontent. I’m working on that in counseling.

I do know in my gut when something is wrong, but some of the time don’t  follow my third-eye or intuition. I was not afraid to say “No” when it came to my family although I would feel guilt afterward. I often said “No” to myself. But I rarely said “No” to other adults . I often said “Yes” but probably for the wrong reasons.

 

I’m learning to be kinder to myself, less often putting myself last. I was not able to let go of what I couldn’t control…my chaos and drama addiction. I was definitely a people pleaser I was not able to say “exactly” what I meant or needed.

 

I had given up on my dreams so long ago that I couldn’t remember what they were. but recently I’m following my dream of writing and poetry? I always loved others, but I’m just now learning to love me.

 

So I’m concentrating on a list of changes for my journey. I’m slowly beginning to care for myself, becoming more positive with less negativity and drama. 

 

I’ll tell you more about my journey later this week.

…Susans Soul

 

 Please spread the love and share and/or comment…Thank you. Susans Soul…

Advertisements